Download e-book Grief Dreams: How They Help Us Heal After the Death of a Loved One

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Likewise, complicated grief is associated with sleep problems , particularly if the individual has comorbid depression, bipolar disorder , or PTSD. For many, grief is a natural process.

Grief Dreams

You sort of have to just go through it to get to the other side. Taking control and ownership of everything you can do to stay healthy and sleep well during this time gives you a sense of power. More importantly, it helps you recover from this loss with less pain than necessary, and lowers your risk developing complicated grief. This is especially true for the wide swath of individuals suffering from LLSB grief, who are more likely to be seniors.

Their risk of morbidity can be significantly reduced by maintaining good sleep. One study found that those who took 30 minutes or more to fall asleep had more than twice the death rate of their better-sleeping peers. Another study confirmed these findings. Researchers have found that treating grief also improves sleep. However, sleep problems may still linger if they are not addressed directly themselves.

Follow these tips to improve your sleep. Are you or someone you care about grieving and experiencing sleep issues? If your symptoms and sleeplessness have persisted for 12 weeks or more, it may be time to get professional help. Cognitive-behavioral therapy CBT is an effective form of psychotherapeutic treatment for anxiety, depression, insomnia, and more. During CBT, the patient works with their therapist to recognize the negative or blocking thoughts and behavior they have that make them feel worse, heighten their anxiety, or encourage insomnia.

Then, they learn how to replace those thoughts and behaviors with healthier ones. For example, a person receiving CBT-I CBT for insomnia may learn that their haphazard sleeping schedule is contributing to their insomnia, and work out a consistent sleep schedule with their therapist.

They may think negative thoughts about never being able to recover from the loss, which heighten anxiety, depression, and lead to restless sleep. CBT can help tease out these thoughts and encourage the individual to face and overcome them. Taking a cue from the CBT recommendation above, a consistent sleep schedule can help you get a more regular amount of sleep on a nightly basis. Go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day, including weekends. Avoid napping during the day, as this will only make it tougher for you to fall asleep at night.

If you are absolutely exhausted, limit your nap to 20 to 30 minutes at the most. During this time, it is important that you spend time with people who love and care about you. Find people who will allow you to share your stories, your grief, and your tears without judgment, but who will also know when to help distract you by doing an activity together. If you are feeling lonely, ask friends or family to spend the night. You might invite your pet to sleep in bed with you.

You may also use a body pillow to remind you of them. While they may help you fall asleep initially, many of these substances actually disrupt the quality of your sleep — and they can lead to addiction and permanent changes in your sleep architecture when abused. You may ask your doctor about melatonin , which is a natural supplement that can help promote sleep.

Even sleeping aids should only be used as a temporary solution. Instead, focus on the behavioral strategies outlined here to improve your sleep to the best extent possible. Exercise gets your endorphins going and helps you feel physically better. It provides a distraction from the pain you are going through, and it also helps you sleep. By physically tiring your body, you will fall asleep more easily by bedtime. Just take care to complete your exercise in the morning or earlier part of the day. That activating energy can wake you up, so you want to avoid doing it too close to bedtime.

Just like exercise, what you eat affects your mood and your sleep, too. It may be more challenging than ever to get out of bed and avoid indulging in bad foods during this time, but it only makes it that much more important. Do your best to eat healthy foods and avoid overly sugary, junky, or fatty foods. Instead, incorporate more of these healthy, sleep-promoting foods into your diet. Also, even though caffeine is fine for some people, limit your intake past the afternoon and overall. It activates your nervous system, keeping you alert and potentially anxious.

Creating a bedtime routine is helpful for anyone who wants to fall asleep faster , but for those in grieving, it gives you something to focus on besides your grief. When we lose someone close to us, it disrupts our daily routine.

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Establishing a bedtime routine can also help give you a sense of control again, bringing a sense of order back into your life. Include relaxing activities in your bedtime routine. These will calm your anxious spirit and nervous system, preparing your body for sleep.

Options include:.

30 Tips to Help Manage Grief Following Loss

Disrupted sleep is a common part of grief. In the other room, you might again try one of the relaxing activities from your bedtime routine. You might also take the time to journal. Electronics like our smartphone flood our eyes with strong bluelight. Our brain perceives this as sunlight, and accordingly tries to keep us up and awake.

Beyond the physical reaction, electronics often provide stressors of their own, even though many of us view them as leisure devices. Dramatic TV shows can affect our nervous system, social media notifications may remind us of our lost loved one, and emails may arrive from the funeral home.

Avoiding electronics in the 60 minutes before you go to bed helps you mentally break away from these distressing reminders, while avoiding confusing your brain about what time of day it is. It may be easier for you to cope if you remove reminders of that person from your room — at least temporarily.

Seeing their face or clothes may trigger your grief. Also be thoughtful of how else your bedroom is helping or hurting your sleep.


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You may take this time to redecorate your room, giving you something to focus on that provides hope. Choose calming, relaxing colors and clear your bedroom of clutter. A calmer bedroom environment makes for a calmer mind, more conducive to sleep. It might also be time for you to get a new mattress.

Sleeping on a high-quality, comfortable mattress makes it easier for you to fall asleep, and the new one may remind you less of your lost loved one. Finally, avoid doing anything besides sleep or sex in your bedroom. Work, fun, and other activities wake up your brain. You want your brain to see your bedroom as a place solely for sleep. Grieving is an experience we all go through.

Bereavement Reactions Of Children and Young People By Age Group

Lean on family, friends, and even strangers for support. Changes in appetite or weight gain or loss Digestive issues Difficulty concentrating Insomnia or sleep problems Daytime fatigue Anxiety Headaches Low energy or motivation Depression. Complicated grief When these symptoms persist past a six-month period, it is diagnosed as complicated grief CG or prolonged grief disorder.


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  3. Life after loss: Dealing with grief.
  4. Definition: Insomnia Insomnia describes a difficulty falling or staying asleep. Emotionally , the individual has a tougher time balancing their mood, and is prone to produce higher levels of stress hormones, resulting in increased anxiety and poor outlook. Finally, it impacts the person physically. Their immune system is compromised, making them more likely to get sick.

    Studies about grief and sleep A meta-analysis comprehensively reviewed the prior research surrounding individuals suffering from CG or LLSB late-life spousal bereavement and their sleep. Significant findings include: One study of widows found that all participants reported poor sleep quality, compared to only one-quarter of their non-bereaved peers. In addition, prolonged illnesses can also cause grief to take unexpected forms.

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    ISBN 13: 9780470907542

    A person who had a difficult relationship with the deceased a parent who was abusive, estranged, or abandoned the family, for example is often surprised by the painful emotions they have after their death. Others might feel relief, while some may wonder why they feel nothing at all at the death of such a person. Regret and guilt are common, too. This is all a normal part of the process of adjusting and letting go.

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